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If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is: Infinite. William Blake
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In my journal i keep writting things like "i need to step up now"... think i been saying things like that for the last 2 years or something... i guess there is overall momentum but i know i'm not living my life in the way that i want to right now. so i guess it begs the question "how do i get from here (where i am now) to there (where i would like to be)?" I think there is a big element of priorities and what they are, what are my commitments and what are the things i spend my time doing... In Matt it says where your treasure you heart will be also. so if we see treasures as what we value, what we treasure, what we are commited to then it follows that if we shape these things strategically and carefully through how we spend our time (perhaps in our culture the main contender for "treasure" alongside money) and i suppose where i do spend my money then i will see momentum, growth and change in my heart. so in practice i need to think through the things that make me feel alive and do them more and cherish them and i need to decide what to prioritise and give time to... it will also allow me to really give myself to things rather than be half hearted in what i do... |
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Final thoughts on sacrifice and repentance:
in acts 2 when peter preaches to the crowd it says they are cut to the heart - they then repent... so a broken heart follows revelation of the situation we are in... so that makes me think broadly that we either choose to break our hearts by sacrifice or God breaks them by revelation (or they get broken by situations out of our control eg break ups) we can however ignore that and harden our hearts which makes me think of the people that are like stoney ground in the parable of the sower. Or we let heart break cause our hearts to harden rather than go through pain… it is ultimately to draw us to Christ |
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Further thoughts:
Sacrifice and repentance are different although you often need to sacrifice in order to repent. But both require a change of heart By sacrificing things it can cause heart break and it is often a choice to bear a broken heart (i think i have a broad understanding to what it means to have a broken heart - perhaps being separated from the things you desire, things your heart wants) Repentance is decision to change your mind set, as i say it literally means change of mind. in matthew it talks of where you lay your treasure, there you heart will be. I think you can read this as "where you set you mind, your heart will follow" - so a decision to repent can result in broken hearts. Sometimes you need to sacrifice to outwork repentance. |
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Following on from the last post…
This isn’t just about relationships and stuff, i think it can be about loads, about mindsets and things that must be broken, perhaps letting go of the past - (tied in with kind of nostalgia but saying goodbye? perhaps a sidetrack just occurred to me) . If we have hearts of stone then maybe they must break in order to have hearts of flesh... and that is something quite vulnerable i think. I do actually think that there are lots of circumstances where God calls us to be hurt, broken hearted for us to grow into complete people - james 1:2-4. I'm def not saying all hurt and suffering, don’t read what i'm not writing – for me attributing that to God trying to teach us is a gross misunderstanding of the loving character of God. But we cannot be full people if we have easy comfortable boring lives. |
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i have seen les mis twice in the last couple of weeks, once in the west end and once at County School in Guildford. I always thought I hated musicals then saw my first one a couple of months ago and realised theyre awesome!!
I felt a real connection with Eponine who in the story is hurt as the man she loves goes after another etc (short version).. I thought about it a bit as at first it thought it was because she was attractive. I realised its something about broken heartedness, about being poor in spirit, there is something of the kingdom of God in that. it is written "blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" I'm starting to understand what that means... There is something really of God in being broken hearted. Eponine chose to let go of the things she hoped for, lived for. In Psalm 51 it says the sacrifice God requires is a brokeness of spirit, a broken and contrite heart. sacrificing the things in life that leave us sore. In laying down your rights, your pride, in making the right decisions in life, in relationships. Making the choices that have to be made. Of giving up the dreams, giving up the easy comfortable life. Of not choosing the escapism of sin. Of saying "this is how it is, it hurts - a lot - but it is the way it must be." Psalm 51 is in the context of sin and recognising that (in this place David and bathsheba) There is something really of God, really of the kingdom of walking life with the scars of the things you have given up for God, something amazing about carrying a broken heart of sacrifice... i think it is a massive thing in maturing as a follower of Jesus when we choose a broken heart over sin... i think with a broken heart that although there is hurt, there is a refining thing - (if faced, not avoided or allowed to brew anger), something i think that is very holy. I think it is a good thing that we have broken hearts in our lives as well as great joy, its what makes life life. Also looking at the creativity (music art etc) of people who are broken hearted often i find it is much more expressive and real than otherwise... |
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